Closure
I have been told over and over by this little voice in my head which have suddenly taken an itch to remind me over and over again that I should take some time to “leave” this blog on a final note…to provide a closing line.
In other words…a closure.
So, here I am writing after 3 months of absence to provide the final chapter to “The Soliloquy of a Book@holic”.
I suppose I have written quite a lot in the course of this blog’s length. From my silly antics with all my friends after our PMR exam to all the pathetic little feuds.
And there was also the post on the memorable New Year’s eve outing, frustration with the prefect’s planning of SMKBSD (2) Teacher’s Day, the humour on Pn. Thanbeer’s soda-machine incident at school. And could you guys remember the time when I was turned into a zombie for the Canteen Day Rumah Hantu? Lol…those were the days.
Even though as aimless and senseless as they were, the very few of you who had been reading (whether in the open or in the dark) had kept up with me till the very end. So, here is to you all who kept up with my soliloquies throughout the time. For every little small detail had been in a way, a happenstance. And it is really up to you to come up with the reasons why…
And with that, I am writing this closure here to herald the epiloque of “The Soliloquy of a Book@holic” and provide all you optimistic pollyanna with a new horizon on “Happenstance & The Reason Why…”
Special Day | Comment (0)“Fare thee well, for I must leave thee,
Do not let this parting grieve thee,
And remember that the best of friends must part.”
Begin the Begin
Yada…yada…yada
I’m not one who usually contradict my words (yeah right!!), but it’s well past midnight and since I’m having another round of insomnia, I decided to rant aimlessly in my blog again. My 102nd post..the 101st being the requiem for Vera.
I’m still missing her like crazy. Everytime I see the empty cage I will see a tuft of cream-coloured fur and I will choke on despair again. Or on some days, I will get down from the car and start calling out "Veraaa drake mentirosas!!"…only to discover that there is no excited jumping around from a small adorable ferret. Oh darn, I’m turning into an emotional sucker again. Which is pretty odd for me considering that I’m a pretty distant kind of person incapable of warmth and love…I seem cold to those whom I’m not close with, on certain days I’m so damn emo…the list goes on and on…and pretty much on somemore…and on…
Hmmm…so what have I been up to this past few months? Well, let’s see…after several hours in front of the idiot box watching Season 1 through Season 3 of Grey’s Anatomy, 10 hours of driving lessons, 2 attempts of driving test, a probational driving licence, an NB shoe, countless loops of Rachael Yamagata’s confessional songs on my iPod and a not-so-minor accident with one of BSD’s metal divider later…I am still a cynical crappy and at times lyrically-unnecessary human wreck. Hahah..yeaaahhh..go figure.
Oh yeah, and I’m studying in Form 6 right which is like seriously mind-blowingly wide (in the sense of its syllabus). Or in the words of my chem teacher "It’s not difficult…it’s just complicated". I’ll be screwed if this turn into a pop-culture for the Form 6-ers. Hahah..jkjk. Well, the difficulty probably sums up from the number of chapters that we have to study. I mean at the recent mid-term exam I almost go cuckoo trying to understand and memorise all the 100 over pages of the Biology text book. And that was the educational aspect of Form 6.
On the social side, my class is made up of a whole bunch of eclectic individuals, which is pretty cool. My classmates are a great bunch of people and we did some crazy stuff which I’m not too proud of…but hey, life is so ridiculously short…so a little malarkey here and there is not a bad thing right?
I’m dying by the seconds as you laugh your arse off…
* * *
I’m not writing this to let anyone down…but seriously…it is the costume that makes the clown. So, to those of you who fall in love…keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right. And life is about wanting more…enough is never…well, really enough you see. We keep on wanting more. But, wouldn’t it be easier if we just appreciate what that is laid, or rather, bestowed upon us? Wouldn’t it be easier if we just look into the mirror and say, "Yeah..that’s me…with my flaws and all" instead of conjuring up mental images of yourself "MINUS the black hair and short physique and dark pupils PLUS fair skin and hair and blue-eyed pupils" and wishing that you were a say, a Caucasian or Brad Pitt for that matter.
Whatever that we do, we just gotta remember that falling leaves return to their roots. So…yeaahhh
* * *
M.L. (did I hear Turkish Delight?) sent me some pics…so I’m just gonna upload here for the sake of the sheer spirit of nostalgia…
M.L, M.T. and Me having nasi goreng pataya at K.W.S. birthday gathering
All smiles…(at K.W.S & W.E.’s farewell gathering before NS)
Mushroom heads 1, 2, 3, 4
Hahah…we were so young…and not so foolish =p (At Moral’s trip to Taman Sinar Harapan)
After SPM!!!
Fireworks!!! Woo-hoo
Scandal? Hardly…just concentrating
From left: The so-called Quizzical look; the Mock-LaLa look; the "I’m Naturally Happyyy" look?
M.T. got flour-ed…big time
"We are too pretty for your lenses" - W.W. & Yuv
At Shubie’s Deepavali gathering
A little more sophisticated? Hmmm…
Pictures courtesy of M.L., Shubie & W.E.
"…somehow I’ll get through the winter…somehow my lying will decay…"
Everyday | Comment (1)Quiet (Requiem for Vera)
Storm is coming…but I…don’t mind.
People are dying…I close my blinds
All that I know is I’m breathing now…
I want to change the world…instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than these…but I just weep
The rain is like an orchestra to me
Little gifts from above meant to say
I am falling at my feet…
Isn’t as lovely or stunning today
The rain will bring
the rain will bring
the rain will bring
the rain will bring me down…
Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space…
Nothing is like it seems
Turn my grief to grace
Nothing comes easily…
Where do I begin?
All that I know is I’m breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now…
To you dear Vera…
which I’ve loved
Uncategorized | Comment (1)Only Fools Rush In (A Centennial of Soliloquies)
The Soliloquy of a Book@holic was conceived back in 2005 and three year later on I’ve come to my hundredth post. Yup…it is a centennial of soliloquies for me. Basically, a centennial of everything that goes on a lengthy censorship board and a thousand references to Oxford’s Advanced Learners. Hahah. And also not to forget a centennial of boring references to all the whatevers that have been going on in my life, from the silly happy post of making the cut to the school’s mag ed-board to the unnecessary melodrama and lyrical prose of my denials.
Anyway, I won’t spend the whole length of this blog talking of the boring history of this blog. So…lets move on. I’m a little lazy to write for the moment, so I’ll post some reunion pics from CNY instead.
This was the reunion table where we had steamboat and tempanyaki.
With Mom, aunt and cousin.
My aunts getting on with the next round of serving.
All of us cousins had a photo shoot with ah ma.
Quite a group huh?
We arrived at Penang four hours before dinner. Therefore after dinner I went up and hit the sheets and doze off quickly to Pulau Song-Song. Hahah…would have followed my aunts and cousin for prayers at the temples but apparently I was un-wakeable (or so say one of my aunts "bei khun cheh ah)
On the first day of CNY, we went for our usual rounds of visiting relatives (and collecting ang pows!). Later in the evening, we went to Koh Tsu Koon’s open house.
I think he is somewhere in the midst of the crowd…or at least I think he is. Is he?
Later on in the night, my cousins (B.K.,J.A.,J.A.,W.A) along with my bro and I went to GCS Gurney Plaza to watch a movie. I entered the cinema expecting to watch cj7, but 10 minutes into the movie, suddenly I saw Jay Chou riding on a bicycle. Right…I got the wrong info from J.A. and apparently we are watching Kung Fu Dunk. The movie turn out to be ok lar…I was expecting worse stuff from Jay Chou but that guy can act le…or so I think. It was not until yesterday when one of my peers told me that most of the roles he play is not far from his real personality. Hmm…I’ll leave his acting credibility to others…not really an avid follower of Chinese cinematography.
There was not much going on on the 2nd day. Skipping on to the third day now. We went for a family dinner near New World Park before heading on to my cousin’s place where we had a lot of fun "pok kiau".
On the fourth day, we celebrated grandma’s birthday at Penang Swimming Club (PSC). Had a course dinner and later on went for karaoke. Here are some random pics:
Dinner pics…
More dinner pic…
My cousins…the three Js.
The cousin’s table a.k.a. the Kids’ Table. Hahah…all cousins for the exception of my aunt (in red)
At the karaoke room.
Ah ma "pun ang pow"
Joel won’t let go the mic!! That’s me with the Chinese samfu…dashing le…lol.
That is basically all the CNY posts. I malas lar want to write some more.
* * *
Anyway, its been a long road for this blog and I suppose this is where the writing ends. To those who actually wasted their time to read all my senseless rantings, I thank you. To those who disagreed with me on several post, thank you too. To those whose feelings I accidentally hurt…my deepest apologies.
As for those who are still trying to decipher my so-called metaphorical and shamelessly lyrical writing, keep deciphering!! Hahah…worse come to worse ask me lar…they don’t mean anything also lar.
The last of my soliloquy ends here at this moment. All said and done, good night and good bye.
Special Day | Comment (1)
Tidal
There is just too much going on. Weeks seem to past by like days, hours seem to past by like mere minutes and the clear definition of betrayal seem to pass on as a nudge of meaningless friendly ignorance. There is just too much going on. Don’t stand so close to me. There is just too much going on right now. But it is calm under the water…in the pink of my presence that is slowly being pulled as the tidal of emotions rise and bring forward the blue of my oblivion.
Chinese New Year is in less than 2 weeks time! Omigosh…you want to hear something funny? I just look through my supposedly "pile of new clothes" and discovered that I’ve only bought a beach pants, a jogging shorts and one red T-shirt that was a gift from someone. Gosh…things are just so hectic right now! I went to OU yesterday in the hopes of finding some attire and also to chase after a dateless entity only to find that the whole shopping mall is packed with last minute shoppers and to be abandon in the midst of the commotion.
What did I do then? Well…of cost sulking is out of the context. No pun intended here, and I went off to catch "Cloverfield" with my bro at TGV which serve as a saviour of the day. The movie, in my opinion, was a breath of fresh air in its genre. I won’t reveal more in this post, though I might in another.
I can’t really reserve more time for writing aimless contradictions in this little sad excuse for literature. But, I just need a little escape as a form of reservoir for the water of emotions that I am willing to spill but unable to portray through the act of physicality. What is the use of letting teardrops fall when there is no clear reason for it to even form? I mean seriously, in a degree of a matter that bring such mediocre angle, it is only sensible to adapt to the picture and display or should I say exude, a certain degree of savoir faire.
So seriously I am perfectly fine. Not living in the past of a bleak history and instead moving on with the uncertainty of an unknown future and the harshness of the day’s present time. And no, I am not in denial. So don’t give me a psychological perception and just leave me be. I just need a mean of medium to hold the tidal of emotions.
I’m sorry if you don’t get the lyrical portrayal of an ordinary pace. I guess the intention of this writing is really intended not to be deciphered. But if you are able to decode its crptic meaning…don’t revel in your assumption. How are you to know of my feelings and intentions behind an illusionary facade? Just don’t stand so close to me. At least not now.
Everyday | Comments OffAnticipating the Anticipation/ Sweeney Todd’s Review
Life is always about the glass half full. We are wanting more than we could possibly have most of the time. Sometimes, it is the feeling of wanting more that propels us forward…or so they say…or whatever. So, why on earth resort to peer pressure when you can’t even fulfil your own contentment?
For the first time (or at least I think it is the first time) in my life, I was down with a terrible case of food poisoning on Monday morning. It was later followed by a very high fever and a state of delirium.
Anyway, the reason for that "moment" was because I was back in Penang for the weekends. As most visits to the Pearl of the Orient would be, I just had to feast on all of Penang’s delicacy. In this case, I only had two days to do so. Therefore, on Saturday afternoon, my aunt drove me down to Pulau Tikus to taste on Bangkok Lane’s famous mee goreng. Before that, I already had a big karipap from Tanjong Tokong.
The next day, it was an early start with dim sum at "Bali Hai" off Gurney Drive. Then, we went off to Penang’s Youth Park where I sort of had a "mini workout" chasing little Joel around the children’s playground. Phew! Well, at least grandma had a breath of fresh air and a change of scenery. Later on, I went to Chit Tiew Lor with two of my aunts for a heavy tea time of wet popiah, Curry mee, pasembur and Milo ais. Well, of course the side dishes were shared among all of us. The dessert? Swatow Lane’s famous ais kacang!
Gosh…imagine the gluttony. It only just dawn on me that I ate like a horse after I wrote all of it down. Maybe things got a little added up in the midst of writing. I couldn’t have possible eaten all that, could I? Hahah.
As all sins would go, I had my case of food poisoning later on. On the brighter side, I could consider it as a "diet plan" as I spill most of the content of food that I had while in Penang. That’s a good thing behind the bad. God, that sounded so wrong. I might be mistaken for suffering from bulimia. Seriously, I’m psychologically right. Although the insane would always say that they are sane. Seriously, I am in a right state of mind. Seriously!!
* * *
Eight days had passed since the New Year. New Year, new resolutions? Hmm…I’m not quite sure if I made any this year. How does this thing work anyway? Is there a dateline for its conception (only on the first day of the year?), or does it goes on indefinitely? Most importantly, why do we need resolutions in the first place? If we can resolute something at any particular time of the year, then we should be able to stick to whatever plans we have and work them out regardless of their time and place? Then why the New Year resolution? We humans are a complex, make-believe, crap of a wreck.
* * *
Anyway, I just check out AllMalaysiaN Bloggers Project and chance upon a Sweeney Todd’s review contest. Here goes nothing!
I heard about the movie on E! the other day (yes, E! is one of my guilty pleasures). There seem to be a lot of buzz surrounding this movie which is directed by Tim Burton (of The Nightmare Before Christmas fame). In Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, he once again collaborated with Johnny Depp, yes our favourite Captain Jack Sparrow from a certain 2007’s summer blockbuster. Ai…another collaboration? Yes, and it doesn’t seem to be their second. Before Sweeney Todd, there was also "Edward Scissorshand" and "Sleepy Hollow". The movie also stars Burton’s off-screen very-pregnant wife at the moment, Helena Bonham Carter. Anyway, there has been an Oscar buzz surrounding this movie. Another successful collaboration for Burton and Depp? Only time will tell…and of course the seatings in the cinema! And seriously, do you think the audiences really care if Johnny Depp can really sing? The girls will go ga-ga over him, the guys trying to emulate his machoness and the serious movie-goers will be anticipating another psychedelic performance from the ever eclectic Depp.
* * *
That was a mediocre attempt at trying to review a movie. Haha. Oh well, it is worth the try. New year’s luck anyone? =D
Okay, back to my soliloquies or whatever. My cousin-in-law ( he is married to my cousin, hence the in-law to the cousin) told me that you can make money through a weblog. Out of ignorance, I asked him how. With patience and a hint of mockery, he begin telling me about hits and online advertising for the next five minutes. Wow…I never…well actually seriously thought that a blog where you rant aimlessly could make money. Lolx. Anyway, I don’t think this little blog of mine will garner much hits any time soon. I would prefer to regard my blog as an indie/alternative scene in the world of blogging…just like the likes of Fiona Apple, Rachael Yamagata and Joshua Radin in the music world. Dream on!!
Well…I should probably log off now considering that it is past the witching hour and I got to catch up with my undang reading tomorrow. But I got to write about my New Year experience!!
On New Year’s eve, I went to The Curve with a bunch of my peers namely; K.W.S, P.H, M.T, M.L, S.J, J.L, S.s and her bf. We went there at around 6pm. We walked there to be exact! Lolx…an accomplishment! Rock on guys!!! Actually, we walked from One Utama by the suggestion of yours truly here. It was kind of like a great workout. Earlier in the day, all of us took the bus to OU and watched Will Smith’s I Am Legend which had M.T later on quoting "I paid seven bucks to scare myself!" but clearly worked magic for M.L. and S.J. Hehe. A blessing in disguise? Hmm…don’t count on me to disclose anything here. =p
The countdown was clearly a memorable one as it was my firsts with my peers. We actually had some crazy moments at Cineleisure where we sat on the floor and set up "The Loiterers", something I seriously would not do in a million years. I suppose I must have been on high on a huge dose of excessive social euphoria. A night to be remembered…
It’s the New 2008 guys!! We all have something to anticipate for. Whatever they may be, just take things one step at a time and remember that life is always about a glass half full. There is really no saying to how much the glass will hold. At the end of the day, all we are left with is wanting more…or so they say…or whatever.
Happy New 2008!!!
Here are the countdown pics:
No, we are not crazy…just happy!! Lol
Wah…the Confucius look. Must be a really serious resolution he is trying to make.
P.H, M.T. and M.L. on the streets.
Aiks…lion dance on a New Year countdown celebration? Want to bring "ong" mah!
The host from 1970s disco scene trying perform a futuristic move.
All tangled up.
Angels for the night.
After a night of partying and going socially "high", we still manage to look sane. Lol.
Pictures courtesy of M.L.
Everyday | Comments (5)Of Conscience and Desires
Desires, often time, can be very fatal. The rest of the time…they pretty much keep you on a high with anticipation. The anticipation comes. You are caught in a moment of passion and bliss. The next moment, the passion and bliss dies out. When desire have stop working its effect you, you run low on adrenaline. And then conscience comes knocking on your door. Guilt comes flying by trailing after conscience. From then on, everything else…pretty much sucks.
All of us have desires. It is what that make the world go round. The essence that gave birth to the first of all sins. It is the framework for a shrewd love story, the reason of a senseless war and the mother of all despair. Without desires, there won’t be passion, rapture and warmth. But, desires when work in the wrong way, can bring about disastrous effect that could put an end to a man’s life.
However, it is the aftermath that yields the greatest impact of all. Conscience. The action of your desires when work in the wrong way will leave you with all but conscience. The dreading feeling that you have done something wrong and that karma will soon hunt you down. So, what do you do when conscience lands itself at the core of your brain? Most people will go into denial while the unlucky few will go senile.
Seriously, you don’t want to get to the bad part of conscience. Learn to control your desires. Stop…pause…breath. And let the urge of the moment pass by. Trust me, surrendering to your desires might be a natural instinct but controlling your desires is a blessing. So, learn to control. Meditate or something. Contain your inner beast. Let it rest…put it to sleep and at the end of the day, you will be ridden of sins and regrets. Nothing feels better than a contained desire and a life free of conscience. Seriously.
Everyday | Comment (0)Sense & Sense Abilities
I have a tendency to begin my blog post with the word "I". Gosh…I’m doing it again aren’t I? See! I’m doing it without any effort at all. It is a total unconscious act…hold…correction…it is a total subconscious act (I am very much awake, thank you very much) that needs no perception at all. This tendency of mine seem almost like an autonomic response everytime I begin a post. It just comes naturally to the senses. But then again, this is my blog, isn’t it? So it should come as no surprise that the first word in my entry should be reflecting my stuffs and my daily whatevers because in this blog of mine, the world does revolve around me (or rather my little small obscure world anyway). Okay, I might get a little self absorbed here so please, please leave before I annoy you any further with my vanity.
If you decided to stay…fine. Don’t blame me later on for boring you with my senseless routines and again, senseless whatevers. Whatever. It is becoming one of my favourite words nowadays along with the regular "Omigod" and "Seriously" in my conversation. Blame it on Grey’s Anatomy for the "seriously" and I-have-absolutely-no-idea-of-the-source for the "Omigod". These three words just like the "I" thingy is also a sort of thing that comes naturally to the perceiving sense of the mind.
Talking about "social life", I just ter-ignored one of my classmates at a Chinese restaurant just now. How High-5 (its an unofficial term for arrogant) is that?! Omigod…I can’t believe I actually did that. Where was my social sense abilities? That was a very cold and uncommon way to treat a peer! Well…uhm…in my defence…err…uhm…autonomic response! Gosh…how pathetic is that excuse? Okay, I wasn’t in a right mood that time and my hair was all down and flat like a kopitiam ah pek. Satisfied? I can be a real jerky social pariah sometimes. I’m sorry okay. But that was seriously wrong. If it makes you feel any better, my conscience is eating me slowly from the inside now. Okay, moving on now people!
So…yeah…I’m basically senselessly ranting right now. Hmm…maybe I should change my blog’s name to "Rantings of a Clueless Book@holic". I always thought that the name "The Soliloquy of a Book@holic" is a tad bit dramatic. All the drama element have to be credited for the word "soliloquy" no doubt. Most of my peers can’t even pronouce it right. Heck…honestly…all the self-absorption aside…I sometimes mispronouce it too. Seriously, here I am, ranting on in a blog where the name is oh-so-dramatic but the posts are oh-so-whatever. A case of smoke and mirror if you ask me. Hey there…don’t judge a book by it’s whatever! What a perfect example.
Ooh…the Singapore Idol won the Asian Idol title. I don’t know…with all due respect he is a decent singer but there were better singers than him on that show. Namely the Indonesian Idol, Phillipine Idol and our very own Malaysian Idol, Jaclyn Victor (rock on!) A case of kiasu-ism? Hmm. I’d rather not comment. Action speaks louder than words anyway.
I just got back from Penang just now and I’m already missing it. Sobs. And I’m still adjusting to the fact that KL’s Milo Ais is so much more expensive than Penang’s one. Anyway, I love the way ices are served in Penang’s many kopitiams. They sort of squash the ices to pieces (to save cost, no doubt) and I simply love it! Personally, Penang’s ice is like tasteless, cold, hard cereals in your favourite teh tarik or kopi-O. It’s funny that sometimes it’s the little small things that you miss the most.
It’s half past one now. I guess I better stop my senseless rantings and hit the sheets. I’m gonna go for a quick morning jog tomorrow. Yay! Endorphins are good for the body okay. Furthermore, I need the happy factor to keep me at my senses and ensure that all my five senses are working at optimum rate. Lol. Until then, good night and good whatever.
Everyday | Comment (0)Euphoria Fixation
My head is seriously deprived of all sorts of creative juices at the moment. I mean I can’t even spin a simple storyline to conjure up a short story right now. For the first time since a very, very long time, I am having a writer’s block. And I think I know exactly why I am facing this blockage of creativity…I have been in a state of euphoria for way too long.
No, seriously. I think my so-called writing skills draws its "strength" from my state of depression and despair. Oh, I’m so melodramatic…literally. When I am isolated from my peers and the rest of the society, I could think of a heart-wrenching story in my head and translate it onto paper the next day. I have to admit that I have a pension for writing melodramatic stories where at least one of the characters die at the end. Lolx.
Anyway, I wrote in to "The Star" newspaper the other day to ask if their offer to work as a part-time writer is still up. They replied today and they gave me a writing assignment! That was the good news. The bad news is that I must think of three topics to write for an entire issue of stuff@school and my head is full of nothing except for the word "Seriously?" at this particular moment. I mean seriously? I don’t know if I am capable of writing for the whole pull-out (Well, there is just 6 pages actually. It’s not Star InTech or Clove). I can’t think of any topics to write on.
What topic will be appealing to teenagers? One that won’t have them flipping the newspaper aimlessly when they read it? Well, I should know that…I mean I am a teenager aren’t I? But I can’t think of anything!! Gosh…
I text message M.L. and she said that relationships will be interesting. But if I’m not mistaken they did an issue on that already. Hmm…I think I’ll just leave this predicament of mine here right now. Anyway…come what may! I am sooo ready to take up the job!!
Now on a lighter side, I am in Penang right now!! At my grandmother’s place to be exact…the living area of the house to be more true to fact. Tee-hee. It’s so great to be here…the air is just so…wait a minute, the air is pretty much the same as the air in KL. The word that would be more fitting is atmosphere. Yup, the atmosphere in Penang is so holiday-ish and err…holiday-ish. Lolx.
I haven’t done anything much during my holidays except half-heartedly reading The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly and watching a truckload of DVDs. I just purchased some DVDs at Batu Ferringhi last night. Hehe. Ooh, and Dad taught me a little driving this morning. It was freaking stressful.
I think I’m going to stop here at this post of mine. Until then, have a great holiday ahead!!
Note: If you guys have any ideas about the topics that would be interesting to teenagers, do please leave a comment to me. Thanks!
Everyday | Comment (0)Clueless
I am feeling so completely absolutely totally clueless right now. It had been only yesterday when there was a sole purpose for my very existence in this world; to study and sit for the SPM examinations. Right now, at this very moment in time, I feel so lost. Okay maybe lost would sound a little melodramatic…let’s just stick to clueless.
It had been only yesterday (before 3.30 p.m to be exact) that my head was filled to the brim with the mechanism of blood clotting, the role of antidiuretic hormones and the sequence of mitotic division, to name but a few. However, my biggest concern at this particular moment is just to watch a marathon of Grey’s Anatomy on DVD. Lolx…it still comes as a shock to me and my body is still slowly recovering from this changes.
You know how it is that you always plan a myriad of stuff in your head that you will presumably do after something, and when the time really comes, you feel like doing nothing at all? Yup, I am talking about the pathological behaviour of human to un-plan their plans. Just a little dose of procrastination and reluctance and voila! You start un-planning your plans. And that is what I am doing right now.
I had been planning to brush up on my Mandarin after the examinations. Okay, maybe the term brush up would be an understatement because my proficiency in Mandarin only extend to me saying "Good morning" and "Good bye". The reason that I would like to pick up Mandarin after all this years growing up without even bothering about the dialect is because some of my Chinese-Ed classmates had gleefully called me a "banana" (bananas are yellow on the outside and white on the inside, go figure) and an OCBC (Orang Cina Bukan Cina). Seriously.
However, I have very good solid reasons for my predicament:
- Both my parents do not speak Mandarin.
- Most of my family members don’t speak Mandarin.
- My childhood was mostly spent in Penang where Hokkien, not Mandarin is the widely spoken dialect.
- I don’t watch Chinese shows on the TV.
- I don’t listen to Chinese songs.
Okay, maybe the last two reasons are a little bit lame. Anyway, learning Mandarin had been one of the things that I planned to do after the examinations concluded. However, that is the very last thing that I would want to do right now. Maybe I should stop procrastinating and get to work.
In order for me to stop feeling so clueless, I am going to compile a to-do-list. I hope that would save me from this feeling of being so entirely free. It’s a little bit oxymoronic isn’t it? I mean people would love to be able to feel so free but here I am dreading to feel so completely free. Maybe I still can’t swallow the fact that SPM is seriously over.
Oh yeah, I recently discovered the sounds of Rachael Yamagata. She is an American singer-songwriter who released her album Happenstance in the year 2004. Her music had been featured on shows like One Tree Hill, Nip/Tuck and more recently on Brothers & Sisters. If you guys have the time, do check out her songs Worn Me Down, Be Be Your Love and Letter Read. The song Letter Read started off with the sound of haunting piano and the pace moves steadily towards the middle of the song. However, it is at the chorus that you will find the real treasure of the song. It’s like as if the chorus just drop out of the sky and it fits weirdly but beautifully into the song. For more mainstream stuff you might want to check out the song Worn Me Down which was also featured on the soundtrack of Charmed. Note her dark raspy alto at the chorus.
I’ll be going off to Kuantan in a few hours time and later in the week I’ll be going back to Penang. Whoo-hoo!! I miss Penang so much!! Lolx…it seems like as if it had been ages since I go back to that beautiful island. I’m just so glad that I will finally be able to set foot there again.
I guess that’s all for now. I hope all of you guys will have a wonderful holiday ahead. To all my peers who are reading this (I doubt there will be any though), do keep in touch and don’t be strangers!!!
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