Coming Clean with Clarity

The song “Weird” by Hilary Duff is played on my mp3 play list. I jogged down the street while listening to Hilary Duff lamenting about this life that is completely alien to her. Not that I care but I think the song reflects the life of a teenager extremely well. The whole clichéd “finding your true self” and confusing confusions about everything.

The sky showed a deep shade of orange. It had rained heavily before this. I love the aftermath of heavy downpour. I regard every raindrop as holy water that cleanses the core of the Earth (and not to forget the atmosphere that is polluted with dust particles). But then again, this is what that I solely feel…what that is whispered in the frame of my mind. The predicament and soliloquy that I had during my evening jogs will remain one of those secret parts of me that will never be revealed to the world. What they don’t know, they can’t use to harm you.

A raindrop hit me hard on the skin. Nah, it can’t be a raindrop. For goodness’ sake, it just rained just now. A few more fell from the heavens and straight to my face. Evening walker and maids with children ran about frantically as if the volcano of

Pompeii

is erupting. Before I know it, I had been soaking wet when I ducked into a shelter of a now deserted playground and joining a few other people who are sheltering from the cold rain. I checked my mp3 to make sure that it is still working. Two ice-cream vendors and a couple of kids who are complaining about the rain ruining their evening accompanied me in the shelter. Great! Stuck in the rain with no place to go…just what I needed as a prologue to my evening.

I can’t believe that I had actually been deceived. I had just been deceived by the weather! One minute it’s bright and sunny and the next minute it is dark and gloomy. What’s the difference between a person who can’t see the colour red and a person who can then? The clouds would appear as grey to those who can’t see the colour red. But then again it is me who is stuck in the rain; a person with no whatsoever defects in my sight. “My mom is going to kill me if I don’t go back any time soon,” a Chinese girl with long black hair complained to her friend. “What is taking my maid so long to get here? Stupid woman!” she further said. I was caught off guard by what that she just said. A girl whom I presumed is only nine years old could scold her maid this way. Well, I guess this is the 21^st century. The time where technological advancement is crucial and moral development is an unwanted potential.

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to God knows how long. I am completely alone and dusk is officially approaching. Snap! I can’t believe this is happening to me. Why? Oh, why of all people, me? At this rate, I am being blatantly theatrical. I am not one of those people who develop a phobia towards darkness but with all the thunder, lightning and rain…this could qualify as an enactment of a horror movie. Call it unnecessary childish fear if you want to but I felt a tinge of fear then. Oh, deity of weather please let the rain recede so that I can go home. There is no denying that mom is going to give me a lecture that will last about a lifetime to me when I get home later. She had reminded me to bring along my cell phone before I went out for my evening jog, but being the teenager with a seed of rebellion in me; I left my cell phone on my study table.

I, a dark solitude figure caught in the rain. I, a dark solitude figure who’s in melancholic shame. I struggled in vain while making up my mind if I should run over to one of my peers’ home and asked for a temporary safe shelter. I guess that is the only choice that I have right now, the one and only choice somehow. I gather all my courage and braved the cold, unforgiving rain. I ran like I’ve never ran before to my peer’s house. In my rush, I didn’t notice an uneven road and tripped. Ouch! That hurts. I got up and cursed the developers for not providing an even road and thanked the rain sarcastically for making my experience more miserable and memorable. I got to my peer’s place and against my better judgement, rang the bell. My peer came out and quickly rushed me in. I saw a look of suspicions in his father’s face and realised that I must be looking really pathetic. I left five minutes later with an umbrella in my right hand after a lame attempt at starting a conversation. I thanked my friend and quickly walked down the street. There is one thing that is crystal clear in my head; I am never returning to that place again.

The rain slows to a drizzle. Great! All that I have to do to appease the deity of weather is to make myself feel degraded. I am beginning to feel the sore in my feet right now. I quickened my pace. What time is it? I am so officially going to be grounded. I ran and finally, eventually arrived at the front of my house. Here I am, home sweet home. I could have kissed the front gate if not for the sight of my empty front porch. I realised that dad must have went on a search mission for me.

There is no denying that I am going to face really ‘loud music’ from both my parents later on. I walked slowly and dreadfully in to my home. I went for an innocent evening jog and karma decided to get back at me. I guess that would be the best explanation I could offer them; the truth, nothing less and nothing more. I guess there is really nothing to come clean about to my parents. I was caught in the rain and disconnected from everyone. I was caught in the rain but here I am; a teenager with a better clarity of everything.

P.S.: This is a REAL account that I had on yesterday’s evening (April 15th). I had initially write a journal but my sarcasm got the better of me and I made it into a story. Purely fictional but truly true.