Let Go

Have you ever tried so hard to obtain something that you know you can never get? Well, I did. I tried so hard for something that I know will never be mine, all the while keeping the thought "Nothing is impossible with a willing heart" behind my head.

I tried and I tried but my attempt was to no avail. It was destined to be doomed. How is it possible to bend the un-bendable? How is it possible to expect silver to change to gold? How is it possible to sow the seeds of a willow tree and hope for it to grow in the frozen earth during the cold winter?

Yes, I was hoping against hope for the un-hopeable. I was deceiving my own self and I was playing foolish games with my mind. I let myself to be drawn to a lingering fire only to discover that it had long extinguished before I even got there. No, the fire only linger in one’s hearth in the heart…it never spread to another’s hearth.

It had been a forlorn hope at the very beginning. I suppose I knew it before I even got caught up in that fever. It was ignorance that aspired me and denial that kept me going on. It was a mistake from the very dawn of that attempt. The writing was on the wall but I’ve chosen to be blinded.

  I think I’ve finally woke up from this phase of mine. After a very, very long time, I had finally come to realisation. Why chase after a dream that is so sweet only to discover that it is a nightmare that trap you in the end? Why waste your time on a particular thing when there are a million other things that are going around you? Why keep on deceiving yourself when truth is already in front of you? Why keep on hoping for a forlorn hope?

It had been a heavy load all this while and now it is time for me to unload this burden from my chest. I will unlock the lock and take off the chain that had been binding me. I will break free and soar up high. I will blow away this mist of ignorance that had been clouding me. And I will untangle myself from the web of denials that I had weaved.

It had been too long and too painful to bear anymore. All said, written and done… I am finally going to let go of that thing that I can’t get. I am letting go of my sweet deception, blissful ignorance and the poison in my heart.

Goodnight and goodbye to you whom I have let go…