So Be It

The March Monthly Test is over and that means that I have a little bit of time in my hands until tomorrow before Monday arrives and brings with it a whole truckload of assignments and homework. But hey…who am I to complain? I mean homework, assignments and extracurricular activities are after all a part of a Malaysian students’ life. And my point was further reinstated by one of the questions in last Wednesday’s English paper where it was said that teachers were one of the reasons that cause stress among students. Tell me again about pointing out the obvious.

The exam week had been pretty hectic…no thanks to my nature of doing things at the very last moment. I mean at school I will sit for like 3 papers and then once I get home and after lunch and all that, I resume back to my studies and memorised and tried to understand a million facts and formula. Phew…I am just glad that I will be given a rest until tomorrow. Lolx.

At school, I am feeling like I am being push aside by some of my peers. Maybe its just this feeling that comes with the whole package of exam stress. I don’t know. Maybe I am better at being one’s enemy than one’s friend. I mean…oh forget about it.

There are some things that are better kept to yourself. I’m sure I am just being over-paranoid about nothing in particular. Anyway, if a group of people keep their distance from you just because of the words that flow from one half of a story rather than the rest of the story…I guess you have finally seen the true colours of those around you.

  I might not be on good terms with someone at the moment right now. But then again, this rough edge is just supposed to be between me and that someone. Therefore, when someone asked me if there is anything going on between me and that someone, my reply is "Nothing. Seriously, what did you think happened?". But of course that would be my reply. Just because I am denying things doesn’t mean that the other party will do the same thing. I might say that nothing happened but at the other end of the room I might be described as a horrible villain that is disrupting harmony.

  So what if I am being perceived as the "bad guy" in this dilemma? Would that bother me? Would that cause any cosmic changes in my world? Okay…so maybe I am lying if I say that I am not bothered. But these things happened. If I am to be regarded as the guy who is causing all this trouble…so be it. At least I know the truth…and the truth is enough to protect me from all this negativity. If I am to be perceived in such a bad way, I can always take comport that that boy is a fictional character who had been judged wrongly. I am me. Nothing is going to change that fact. Furthermore, it is only during this time that I will get to know who is true and who is not. Who is real and who is fake. Who is smiling and who is crying.

  I am not trying to gain your sympathy. Please don’t get me wrong. You are an individual of your own. Even if I shout out to your face loudly and say "Hey you idiot. Snap out!! What is wrong with your judgment?!". You might still believe the other half of the story.

Don’t expect to hear the other half of the story from me anytime soon. You will only get a superficial reply if you do ask. Stay with the first half of the story…if you believe it. So be it. If you think that person is telling you the whole truth. So be it. If you think that I am the cause of the problem. So be it. I might be wrong…that person might be wrong…both of us might be wrong. But you know what? So be it. So be it.