Begin the Begin

August 16th, 2008

Yada…yada…yada

I’m not one who usually contradict my words (yeah right!!), but it’s well past midnight and since I’m having another round of insomnia, I decided to rant aimlessly in my blog again. My 102nd post..the 101st being the requiem for Vera.

I’m still missing her like crazy. Everytime I see the empty cage I will see a tuft of cream-coloured fur and I will choke on despair again. Or on some days, I will get down from the car and start calling out "Veraaa drake mentirosas!!"…only to discover that there is no excited jumping around from a small adorable ferret. Oh darn, I’m turning into an emotional sucker again. Which is pretty odd for me considering that I’m a pretty distant kind of person incapable of warmth and love…I seem cold to those whom I’m not close with, on certain days I’m so damn emo…the list goes on and on…and pretty much on somemore…and on…

Hmmm…so what have I been up to this past few months? Well, let’s see…after several hours in front of the idiot box watching Season 1 through Season 3 of Grey’s Anatomy, 10 hours of driving lessons, 2 attempts of driving test, a probational driving licence, an NB shoe, countless loops of Rachael Yamagata’s confessional songs on my iPod and a not-so-minor accident with one of BSD’s metal divider later…I am still a cynical crappy and at times lyrically-unnecessary human wreck. Hahah..yeaaahhh..go figure.

Oh yeah, and I’m studying in Form 6 right which is like seriously mind-blowingly wide (in the sense of its syllabus). Or in the words of my chem teacher "It’s not difficult…it’s just complicated". I’ll be screwed if this turn into a pop-culture for the Form 6-ers. Hahah..jkjk. Well, the difficulty probably sums up from the number of chapters that we have to study. I mean at the recent mid-term exam I almost go cuckoo trying to understand and memorise all the 100 over pages of the Biology text book. And that was the educational aspect of Form 6.

On the social side, my class is made up of a whole bunch of eclectic individuals, which is pretty cool. My classmates are a great bunch of people and we did some crazy stuff which I’m not too proud of…but hey, life is so ridiculously short…so a little malarkey here and there is not a bad thing right?

I’m dying by the seconds as you laugh your arse off…

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I’m not writing this to let anyone down…but seriously…it is the costume that makes the clown. So, to those of you who fall in love…keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right. And life is about wanting more…enough is never…well, really enough you see. We keep on wanting more. But, wouldn’t it be easier if we just appreciate what that is laid, or rather, bestowed upon us? Wouldn’t it be easier if we just look into the mirror and say, "Yeah..that’s me…with my flaws and all" instead of conjuring up mental images of yourself "MINUS the black hair and short physique and dark pupils PLUS fair skin and hair and blue-eyed pupils" and wishing that you were a say, a Caucasian or Brad Pitt for that matter.

Whatever that we do, we just gotta remember that falling leaves return to their roots. So…yeaahhh

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M.L. (did I hear Turkish Delight?) sent me some pics…so I’m just gonna upload here for the sake of the sheer spirit of nostalgia…